By: Tracey Cox
To say women are complicated sexually is about as obvious as me pointing out you'd be awfully tired if you tried to swim from here to Australia. Everyone knows women find it harder to orgasm than men do. Here's a rundown of the reasons why -- and how to up your chances of enjoying hassle-free sex like he does.
You Just Don't Feel Like It
Pinpoint exactly what's happening
Temporary lack of desire means you normally love sex but are just going through an off period. Long-term lack of desire means passion hasn't lived at your house for quite some time. Low sensation means you want sex but your body doesn't, refusing to respond physically to erotic arousal of the brain. Your genitals remain dry and you've got a low sensitivity to touch and sensation on your clitoris and vaginal area.
If you're suffering from low sensation, head for your doctor and ask for a referral to a good gynecologist for a full check-up. The problem's usually physically based with common culprits being pelvic surgery like hysterectomy, high blood pressure, smoking, high cholesterol, hormonal changes like having a baby and medications.
Temporary lack of desire can usually be pinpointed to a specific event if you think hard enough. Apart from the obvious things like having a baby, there's stress (Just got a promotion? Moved to a new house?), exhaustion (all or any of the above), the death of a loved one, tension in your relationship and any one of a number of things which make you feel less than wonderful. If you can identify a specific event, the solution usually presents itself along with the realization. Super stressed? Rethink your priorities. If you're grieving, give yourself time to heal.
If you haven't felt sexual for a year or more and have no idea why, that's when you need to sit up and pay attention. And be truthful. The first and most likely reason you're not (ever) turned on is you're in the wrong relationship or your partner's a lousy lover. By far the biggest obstacle between us and the Big O is a partner who hasn't the first clue about how to get us there. I'm happy to report, however, that with some open, honest communication and education about what you need to orgasm, this can be solved.
To say women are complicated sexually is about as obvious as me pointing out you'd be awfully tired if you tried to swim from here to Australia. Everyone knows women find it harder to orgasm than men do. Here's a rundown of the reasons why -- and how to up your chances of enjoying hassle-free sex like he does.
You Just Don't Feel Like It
Pinpoint exactly what's happening
Temporary lack of desire means you normally love sex but are just going through an off period. Long-term lack of desire means passion hasn't lived at your house for quite some time. Low sensation means you want sex but your body doesn't, refusing to respond physically to erotic arousal of the brain. Your genitals remain dry and you've got a low sensitivity to touch and sensation on your clitoris and vaginal area.
If you're suffering from low sensation, head for your doctor and ask for a referral to a good gynecologist for a full check-up. The problem's usually physically based with common culprits being pelvic surgery like hysterectomy, high blood pressure, smoking, high cholesterol, hormonal changes like having a baby and medications.
Temporary lack of desire can usually be pinpointed to a specific event if you think hard enough. Apart from the obvious things like having a baby, there's stress (Just got a promotion? Moved to a new house?), exhaustion (all or any of the above), the death of a loved one, tension in your relationship and any one of a number of things which make you feel less than wonderful. If you can identify a specific event, the solution usually presents itself along with the realization. Super stressed? Rethink your priorities. If you're grieving, give yourself time to heal.
If you haven't felt sexual for a year or more and have no idea why, that's when you need to sit up and pay attention. And be truthful. The first and most likely reason you're not (ever) turned on is you're in the wrong relationship or your partner's a lousy lover. By far the biggest obstacle between us and the Big O is a partner who hasn't the first clue about how to get us there. I'm happy to report, however, that with some open, honest communication and education about what you need to orgasm, this can be solved.
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